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"I have no idea what sex is really like for men, especially for gay men," one mother commented.Īnother parent reported sending her bisexual daughter to a lesbian friend to talk to her about "gay sex." Few parents feel comfortable broaching the subject of sex with their children, but parents of LGBTQ teens have the added challenge of not always feeling equipped to talk about an experience they themselves have not had. Some of the remarks from those parents made me realize how easy I have had it, in a way, talking with my teenage daughter. Not long after that brunch, I read about a recent set of online focus groups conducted by Northwestern University that examined heterosexual parents' attitudes toward talking about sex with their lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer teens. Every discussion we have had and every piece of advice I have given originated from our shared identity as cisgender, straight females.
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From the time she was in middle school, I have spoken to my daughter about how to stay safe on dates - never let anyone else get your drink, no means no, you do not have to do anything you do not want to do, always practice safe sex - and other rules I wanted her to live by. Between the omelets and crepes, she described how she felt about her new boyfriend, and I gave advice on enjoying their young love while retaining her independence and sense of self. Parents and their LGBTQ kids should keep their communication openĪ few months ago over Sunday brunch, my 18-year-old daughter and I fell into a discussion about sex and dating.LGBTQ youth is motivated to meet partners online because they feel alone.The mechanics of sex are different for LGBTQ people in some ways.